Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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