I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
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