Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize