I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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