You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize