when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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