do herpes really smell.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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