I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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