woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
now i know why i became what i already was.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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