at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize