i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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