Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize