Your tits are I can't wait for
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize