I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize