he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
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The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
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I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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