I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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