I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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