part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
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You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
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Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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