Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
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i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
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And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Everyone says I win the strip club
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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