Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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