epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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