I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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