Pants 0. Shit 1.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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