dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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