i don't plan on having that self control this summer
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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