Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
