hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize