love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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