Plan B is the new Plan A
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize