So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
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he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
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BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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