From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize