it's not cheating when I paid for it
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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