All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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