Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize