Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
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Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
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It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize