yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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