This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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