Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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