So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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