If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize