apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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