yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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