He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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