Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize