i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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