What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Rumble strips road head = magical
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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