the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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