A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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