3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
No stitches, just platelets and will power
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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