pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize