either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize